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Hagerty Employee

What If? Quick Take: 1992 Mercury Grand Marquis Colony Park

Welcome to What If? Quick Take, a new feature from imaginative illustrator Abimelec Arellano and Hagerty. While the cars shown in our regular What If? features are full 3D renderings and can appear in any number of images, the Quick Takes are off-the-cuff expressions of Abimelec's imagination.

Oh the drama!

I think a story about an obsessed dad taking his family cross country for a vacation with a dead body on the roof and flirting with say Christy Brinkley would have been a more interesting story.

As for the Family Truckster here.. you think you hate it now just wait till you drive it.

If you had done this with an 1982 when wagons were still loved and not 1992 when wagons fell out of favor it might have lasted a few years….oh wait they did have a wagon back then and killed it due to low sales.

Chevy and Buick tired but results were luke warm at best.

I have always loved wagons but the market has moved just as they are from coupes.

With the advent of these new EV platforms that can be configured for a number of low volume applications we just might see a wagon again. Will see.


I've spent a lot of time driving these cars and I kind of like them. I freely admit that this does not enhance anyone's opinion of my taste.

I spent a lot of time driving these and working on these. They were fine 40 years ago but today other than for nostalgia I just don’t have the passion. 

I have gotten soiled with a high roof  SUV that has more passenger and cargo room. 

My wife’s Acadia Denali not only had more room but will run 14 second quarter miles and has a sport mode that lets me take to back roads like I am in a sport sedan. 

I really love the old Kingswood estates and many large wagons but I would not want to live with one daily. 

I guess I am just not nostalgic for 1992 yet.


What is sad Cadillac offered a fantastic wagon just as did Dodge but both were questions no one asked today, 

Advanced Driver

If you want to do another one of these you could do something about the old Thunderbirds that were on the same platform as those fox mustangs. Maybe a fast version of the turbo 4 to compete with bmw m3. Or maybe a fast 302 one for some nascar/drag race thing. Or maybe I just got dropped on the head as a kid.
Intermediate Driver

Top quality, as usual Jack.

Tell me, do you ever feel unappreciated?

It's embarrassing to admit but I'd write these even if no one bothered to read them. It's a fun way to spend ninety minutes.

I clicked on the story because I thought that perhaps I had somehow missed this land barge when it existed, and then I almost didn't keep reading after I found out it doesn't exist. Glad I stuck it out lol. When I think of Althea, I think of the Grateful Dead and a great Jerry song. Althea is a variant of the Greek "althos", which means "healing". But in Greek mythology Althea is more of a justice-dealer, kind of like here.....
Pit Crew

Thanks Jack! I would have like to have seen Ford make a 1990-97 Lincoln TownCar as a wagon.
Great cars!

Thank you for this piece of neo-Prohibition noir. With black MGM wagon that shoulda been. Delish. The Panther platform was so versatile and so robust — just think of all the models it underpinned. Why not a late FCV/MGM/LTC wagon? As a dedicated wagon driver (family of origin: 1969 Corolla wagon, 1973 Corolla wagon, 1976 Malibu wagon, 1980 Malibu wagon, 1978 Colony Park wagon; my own: 1974 Volvo 145, 1980 Volvo 245, 1969 Chrysler T&C, 2003 Impreza 5-door x 2, 2002 Saab 9-5 wagon, 2008 Pontiac Vibe, 2008 Subaru Outback), I salute your excellent bad taste in cars.


I couldn't stop reading until the end. Nice work!

I like, but the wagon should have had the fake wood paneling. Great story too.

A reader sent me Ford's design study for a 1992 Crown Vic wagon; it was in Touring Sedan white-over-grey with no wood panels. So while I would have liked to have wood on the wagon, it wouldn't have fit with Ford's philosophy at the time, particularly regarding the "aero Vic" and the Marquis equivalent.

That's my (true!) story, and I'm stickin' to it!
Intermediate Driver

Wood paneling? Althea would never have it.
Intermediate Driver

There is actually a white Crown Vic wagon that shows up at local cruise ins.
It was built by the guys brother up north.
He combined the Vic with the back half of a Fairmont wagon.
Lots of bondo involved, but sure stands out in a crowd.

I want to party with Althea

It looks like the love child of a Grand Marquis and a Caprice Classic Wagon. Baby got back!


Where is the de Sade package?


There was a car in this story?  I kid.  Honestly you have a vivid imagination the story was hilarious!

Advanced Driver

Another good one Jack! Thank You!

Jack, well done once again. And if this car was for real station wagons would still be in the action.

Very good. Very, very good.