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Hagerty
Hagerty Employee

What If? 1984 Imperial Crown Tourer | Hagerty Media

Welcome to What If, a new feature from imaginative illustrator Abimelec Arellano and Hagerty. We'll be taking you back in time-and possibly forward into the future-to meet alternative-universe automobiles. Even better, our time machine is working well enough to bring "short take" reviews along with the photographs and advertisements.
https://www.hagerty.com/media/what-if/what-if-1984-imperial-crown-tourer/
13 REPLIES 13
kinnon
Pit Crew

Thoroughly enjoying these!
61Rampy
Advanced Driver

I have noticed that the last few test cars were, um, destroyed by Spaniel Felson in, um, unusual fashions. I'm thinking that he needs to be, maybe, relieved of his duties?? Then again, maybe he is the son- or son-in-law of the publisher or an editor, and as such is immune to firing.
Oh, and why didn't that mechanical voice announce that the door is A JAR???
BTW, I find these "What If" articles to be absolutely hilarious!!
Jack_Hagerty
Moderator

I believe that Spaniel Felson is, in fact, the scion of a powerful automotive family, and therefore will be allowed to "fail upward" until he inevitably becomes the Editor-In-Chief of "Car and Steerer". It is inevitable!
combsdl68
New Driver

No opera lights? No cornering lights? I think you needed to go full Brougham spec for these!
Jack_Hagerty
Moderator

SIR THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY CORNERING LIGHTS, RIGHT BEHIND THE BUMPER! 🙂

You've got a point about the opera lights though!
Unbalanced
Intermediate Driver

As aficionados of the genre are well aware, the Imperial Crown Tourer directly inspired the 2001 Renault Avantime, a Gallic take on Iacocca’s revolutionary four seat luxury minivan concept. Indeed the name Avantime was a portmanteau of avant, meaning ahead, and time, meaning, um, time, implicitly acknowledging the Renault’s debt to its American predecessor, which would not of course be revealed until 2021. When asked about taking design inspiration from an imaginary minivan that wouldn’t even see the light of day for another twenty years, Renault styling chief Patrick Le Quement scoffed, calling the questioner a “typically small minded American.”
OCULUSNY
Intermediate Driver

I'm trying to imagine picking bugs out of that grill after a ride in the country...maybe one of those ridged brushes I use on my BBQ grill grate...
OCULUSNY
Intermediate Driver

That second photo on the terrace shows what must be a truly rare version, featuring the "Walnut-delete" option.
Maestro1
Instructor

Blessings to Hagerty. This is a great idea, and very well presented.
Maestro1
Instructor

Jack this isn't even close to the concept of Imperial but it's a hell of an idea. Most of it seems to be interior and exterior decor, which is expensive. But what a great idea. I have a close friend who owns among other things a 19 year old Chrysler Town and Country of the Fat and Round School of design,
and he would not be without it. It just crossed 200,000 miles and the engine is noisy. We are prepared for its demise. But it keeps running. Thank you for this. Maybe I should start looking for one that isn't terminal of this vintage................
Jack_Hagerty
Moderator

Ah, but is it more of an Imperial than the final K-based car?
Gary_Bechtold
Technician

That out BMW's the amount of grill one vehicle can have. That front end is as smooth as a Baleen Whale. Probably helps to get the most amount of Krill in it's class! Heck this car should have some inside the car too. Can't let the crazy Russians have all the whale interior bits. (Check out the Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition for reference.)
ThePorscheMan
Intermediate Driver

I remember these from my childhood. Lido really missed the boat when he didn't add the secretary seat/typewriter/"dick"take-shun feature from the (IIR) '66 Imperial.