Welcome to What If, a new feature from imaginative illustrator Abimelec Arellano and Hagerty. We'll be taking you back in time-and possibly forward into the future-to meet alternative-universe automobiles. Even better, our time machine is working well enough to bring "short take" reviews along with the photographs and advertisements. https://www.hagerty.com/media/what-if/what-if-1979-dodge-durango/
You forgot to insult the buyers as well. I seem to recall something about "short legs, thick fingers and a pinkie ring" in a C&D review of an Eldo/Mark. But on the whole, pretty much what one might have expected. I'm surprised those magazine editors were never offered a car review show on a public TV station in the pacific northwest.
I suspect that the staff at CandS knew that the Germans were selling Porsche 911s and VW Beetle Convertibles in 1979, two dinosaurs that made the 1964 Wagoneer look as advanced as an Accord. Also, 'producing' the fastest numbers in 1979 would have meant claiming this LA360 powered SJ covered the quarter mile in less than eighteen seconds at over seventy-five miles per hour.