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Hagerty Employee

Smithology: An Ode to the Rented Car Trailer

Oh, you rental trailer! My savior, my familiar, callooh callay! How broad your galvanized frame! How stout your oversized axles! Do I dream almost nightly of your hefty and awkward sliding steel ramps? Of your hinged fenders, which fold out conveniently, allowing an ordinary human to open with a mortal hand the doors of the rolling turd on your deck?

Not all mushrooms are edible.
Intermediate Driver

Couple of good words, there.
Pit Crew

You drop gummies in your mezcal, contemplating the skull on your desk, yes?
Drag on, Yorick, you drive it well.
Pit Crew

Man, I know that trailer well, and I feel your words stir something within me. It might be tetanus, contracted the last time I used one.

Wonderful column, Sam...
You know... there was that '66 Chevelle over in Wisconsin... Or that short bed pick up down in Iowa. Or that Hot Rod in Nebraska.. Oh, I hear the call of 'The Road".

Years ago I borrowed a 150, rented a trailer, and hauled a 1947 Ford Coupe from Baton Rouge back to my house in Jackson MS. It was not a smooth ride. I think "yanked around" would fit the description.

I once read about an alchemist in the Middle Ages who claimed that he could change "the menstruum of a whore" into "the Queen's diadem." A rash claim that somehow seems appropriate here.

a wise man would purchase an aluminum trailer from Pete Brock to save fuel and the planet from needless CO2 clouds.
Intermediate Driver


You are chortling in your glee! And spinning dead authors in their graves. I'm thinking you use a similar chemical inspiration as Mr. Baruth.
Pit Crew

Wait!?!?! Those fenders flip outward to be able to open the doors? Son of a .....
Pit Crew

This was an inspired stream of consciousness. Sam, you are a (road) warrior poet.
New Driver

Well, that was not what I expected when reading the title. Maybe it's my age but does anyone remember renting trailers for your car as the tow vehicle? Back in the day, when cars actually had STEEL bumpers you could go to Hertz and rent a trailer. It came with a clamp on hitch that was big and heavy they installed on your bumper. Hertz had many styles to accommodate the bumpers on different cars. Sure can't do that anymore.

"complaint would be missed point" No truer words have been written. I am a serial renter of said trailers. It usually goes well but when it is bad, it is very bad. Never cross the agency, and, turnabout is fair play..
As is well known local fees are about half a ton and remote pick-up or drop off is open game. The routine response to my objection is "Everyone is hauling in that direction, you would get a discount if you were bringing one back; off season would be better".
Lateness is to be avoided at any cost. Hauling a "local" from WI to Ashville and back encountered complications including a TN interstate shut-down in the wee hours. Violating the imposed speed limit in a rain storm on I-40 skirting Knoxville my phone lights up. "Where is my trailer? You were supposed to be here a half an hour ago, I have a customer for that trailer". Yada Yada.
Twenty minutes later the phone lights up again, the regional manager wants a piece of me. "We are charging you for another day and we expect that trailer back before 7AM tomorrow" which was actually less than a day.
Pre-dawn, armed with wire tags I label the inoperative tail lights and the load ramp that requires crawling under the trailer (in the rain) to stow in transport position. Yes, the trailer was returned before 7AM and before the agent was open. Repairs? Not likely.
New Driver

Well written, Shakesteel!