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Grace
Hagerty Employee

Avoidable Contact #83: "Crossfire!" she cried

The parable goes something like this: A frog and a scorpion sit at the edge of a fast-flowing stream. The scorpion wants to get across. Asks the frog for a lift. The frog replies, "You're a scorpion. You'll sting me while you're on my back."

 

"If I do that," the scorpion replies, "we will both drown, so obviously I won't do that." The frog is persuaded by the logic of this. Halfway across the steam, however, the frog feels the unmistakable pinch of a stinger on his back. As the paralysis sets in and he starts to sink, he croaks out:

 

"Why would you kill us both?" The scorpion's last reply, as the water washes over his mandibles (OK, there's a little artistic license going on here, not least of which is the talking amphibians and insects):

 

"I couldn't help it! This is who I am!"

 

Read the full article on Hagerty.com: https://www.hagerty.com/media/opinion/avoidable-contact/avoidable-contact-83-crossfire-she-cried/

21 REPLIES 21
compaqdeskpro
Intermediate Driver

V6 Camaro will be fine as long as you watch the timing chain at 100K.

spoom
Technician

Or if you have Mike Corbin's guys turn it into a couch.
JeffWeimer
Pit Crew

Ah. A story of Curvy McLegaBriefs.

Jack_Hagerty
Moderator

The very same!
tripled
Pit Crew

Let me know when you actually write a novel!  Great writing.  Thanks, Jack!

spoom
Technician

"set new land speed records for depreciation" that quote's worth the price of admission 😉

 

BTW, there's another common version of the frog/scorp parable. A lady finds a half frozen Viper (not Chrysler-related) and feeling pity for one of God's wonderful creatures, brings it into her warm home. It thaws out, bites her, she asks why as she lays dying, it tells her, "you knew what I was when you took me home". Jack, you & I can never let our ex's get together, period. Something about not crossing the streams.

(as mentioned in Ghostbusters)

TonyT
Instructor

And the moral of the story is, be your own best friend.

win59
Detailer

Hits close to home, Jack.  Thank You!!

CABRIO-STEVE
Pit Crew

How much bourbon was consumed during the writing of this piece?

Jack_Hagerty
Moderator

Steve, I'm as sober as a church mouse nowadays. Now, if you want to know how much vodka I consumed in the company of this woman, the answer is... all of it.
Steve1957
Pit Crew

Too many go-arounds like that, but still - poetry!

johnmarianmarks
Intermediate Driver

Well, Jack!

 

That was forceful. Perhaps the most memorable automotive-themed bit of "fine writing" I have read since Jean Lindamood's "The Porsche of Doom," about 30 years ago.

 

all my best,

 

john

Joe
Hagerty Employee
Hagerty Employee

Hey, John! Jean didn't write "The Porsche of Doom" at Automobile. I was working there when we published it. The piece was written by a guy named Dave Plank, who sent it in, unsolicited. It was one of those rare instances when we actually published a piece that someone just randomly sent in. Great memory, regardless! --Joe
ccrvtt
Pit Crew

Your prose is the equivalent of John Prine's lyrics.

-Nate
Detailer

Damn Jack ;

 

Once again you nailed it .

 

-Nate

Swamibob
Instructor

Wow Jack!  Written like a highly sentient creature.  (Sentience being defined as self awareness).  Your choice of a Chrysler Crossfire tells me you didn't really care for her deep down.  Friends don't let friends drive Mopars.  🙂 🙂 🙂 

Yea, yea, I got over the Mopar disease at a young age.  The family had a lot of AMC's when I was a kid, then I had a '69 Chrysler 300 in my teens.  That cured me.  

So, being from the upper midwest myself, does she have any sisters?  🙂  I do have a thing for short skirts and high boots.

Thanks again for a great story!

Jack_Hagerty
Moderator

She has a brother: he's an Iowa State Trooper, so I'm guessing he may be doubly out of your wheelhouse! 
yanmarley
New Driver

Nice story and one which I could identify with but.............a Crossfire? I have to echo the sentiment - she was probably not your favorite person at that point in time. 

Trev
New Driver

Such a long winded story, I found myself skipping paragraphs! I think it’s hilarious how some people think they are such prolific writers. Cut to the chase, this story could have been 4 or 5 paragraphs long and much more enjoyable to read!

Guitar74
Gearhead

Great article and very well written. 

Tomwas
Intermediate Driver

I thought I was going to read a tech article not a past love tale.. Well written though...