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Hagerty
Hagerty Employee

5 automotive April Fools' headlines we wish were true | Hagerty Media

Each year, gearhead writers at media sites all around the world cook up fake future automotive products for April Fools' to rile up their readers with either ridiculously good or shockingly bad news. You know the type: That erstwhile automatic-only enthusiast model will finally come with a manual, or vice versa.
https://www.hagerty.com/media/lists/5-automotive-april-fools-headlines-we-wish-were-true/
66 REPLIES 66
LBLyon
Pit Crew

Add another headline: GM will bring back the Oldsmobile Cutlass strictly as a muscle car with a early 70's retro design.
66f85
Pit Crew

Yes and they are going to use a .098 over bored 425 to equal 442 cubic in!
spark123
Detailer

Of course it would have a four speed and dual exhaust and be called the 442!
PorscheMan
Intermediate Driver

... it would be called the 42442.
RW68RSConv
Intermediate Driver

How about “GM reviving the Pontiac brand as a 100% all electric, high performance branch of GM”
Studenorton
Advanced Driver

Looks like Poe's Law is going to spoil April Fools' for a lot of us. I keep hoping that the Buttigieg Mileage Fee will turn out to be a gag, because after that nothing's funny.
Lightning1
Detailer

Add to the milage fee the nonsense called carbon credit. The little "d" politicians really hate their subjects to have any independence. I'd like to wake up on April 2 and they all say "the joke is over, everybody is free to travel as much as you like"
RT
Pit Crew

It is easy to criticize milage tax but the way highways are supported is through tax on fossil fuels. The emerging trend to electric power leaves all the burden on those who still use gasoline to fuel their ride while electric users goes free. If we do away with fuel tax and replace it with a milage tax, anyone using the road system will share the financial burden of maintaining our roads based on how much they use them.
Lightning1
Detailer

The government never does away with a tax. The milage tax would be on top of fuel tax. The milage tax is more like a sin tax on tobacco or alcohol. It goes into the general fund rather than road repair. It would be to dissuade you from driving. If you think an electric car would be immune from a tax forget it. Money is the mothers milk of politics. If they can demonize a group to justify tax on them, the non group will say"Tax those evil people" and get away with it. Politicians use this tactic over and over.
win59
Detailer

So true! The Republik of Kalifornia has had at least two road maintenance taxes added to the price of gasoline and how much of that money has EVER gone to road maintenance?? I pay over $4.00 per gallon and our roads and traffic are some of the worst in the country - but our Governor can afford to eat at the most expensive restaurant....
Punk
Detailer

If by worst in the country, you mean the surface, then I think you need to visit Detroit! But seriously, those of us who don't live in California are always amazed when we visit at the roadway system present there. It is the envy of the world in terms of there miles of wide freeways everywhere. I guess those frills cost money.
TonyT
Instructor

Those "miles of wide freeways" that allow you to examine the cars next to for extended periods of time.
OldRoad
Instructor

In the southland those expansive frwys are parking lots.
TA76
Intermediate Driver

Nobody in Texas envies them.
Alico87
Intermediate Driver

The ideal spiritual succesor to the Lightning (and fitting for April Fools) combines the Sport Trac Adrenalin CONCEPT (the good one with the Cobra motor) and the Lightning to come up with a modern Ranger Crew Cab or Extended Cab that sports all wheel drive, lowered suspension and that high output 3.5 ecoboost. Wider market appeal and a lighter package than the modern full size!
Tim
Instructor

With electric pickups just around the corner, it seems something like the Lightning is the closest to reality of the “headlines” offered here. Also, since it’s the most different from what we have today of the available choices, I’ll pick that as my “like to see,” even though I wouldn’t be a customer.
Tom9716
Intermediate Driver

I think the purpose of the mileage tax is to get drivers/owners of EVs to pay the same tax amount that drivers of ICE vehicles pay. Nowhere does it say that ICE car owners would pay the mileage tax in addition to the gas tax - it would be one or the other.
OHCOddball
Intermediate Driver

You are mistaken. Everyone would be paying it.
Bunka
Intermediate Driver

He is not mistaken and either are you. EV drivers, currently, do not have to pay any any gas taxes, however, they both drive on the same infrastructure. The ICE car owners pay the gas tax to maintain this infrastructure. EV drivers do not. That's not equality. Eliminating the gas tax and then paying for the infrastructure with a tax on how many miles you have used the infrastructure would probably be the fairest and most equal process.
Markg1
Pit Crew

Since when was fairness ever considered in terms of political points scoring ?
In South Africa the ICE gas tax vanishes into the black hole of govt coffers and practically nothing is spent on maintenance - most new roads are toll roads.
The rule is always to pick on the softest target wherever they can.
Rick2
Detailer

In Michigan if you have an electric car they add I think $100 to your registration fees. It is not much but at least EV drivers are paying something.
Rider79
Instructor

As is true in Missouri, I believe.
OldRoad
Instructor

The miles tax would also give the comrade government point A to point B time, date and destination information. All that and your wallet too! Paying for your own surveillance, what a deal for comrade government.
Tinkerah
Technician

The phenomenon is almost as old as time itself: tax a behavior to drive the populace to a preferred behavior. When enough of the citizenry complies that the revenues drop, then tax the preferred behavior to make up for the "shortfall".
mwmyers91
Detailer

I agree, all of these would be great
Ben
Hagerty Employee
Hagerty Employee

Give me a Hellcat-powered Dodge Caravan, please.
stevecobb45
Detailer

Only 702 Ram TRX's produced. Why stop there? Put that drivetrain puppy in a Dakota regular cab shortbed & I'm a buyer.
dd1
Intermediate Driver

Being a Miata fan my fantasy headline would be "Mazda will make reproductions of the first generation (NA) Miata for the U.S." Of course the prices would be exactly the same as the originals when they were new. Mazda has legacy parts available for the roadsters but to the best of my knowledge there are no actual full fledged reproduction out there. All of the Miata generations are special in their own unique way but for me the best was the original NA. It truly captured the spirit of the 60's British roadster genre.
CliffRamsdell
Pit Crew

You forgot to add the Hellcat motor in the Pacifica Minivan. There are a few pictures floating around including a wide body version.

As a minivan daily driver kind of a guy (I have a 28 model A hot rod and 2 owner 1968 Dodge Dart GTS) it’s a perfect all around vehicle and a hellcat upgrade would be just fine.

Cliff Ramsdell
Utopia1
Detailer

Well, any of these are better than reading about the painful "joke" that VW tried playing on the public over this past week ("Voltswagen"). It may very well have been the most awkward and blundered "joke" any company has ever done.
Worst. Joke. Ever.
oldmustangs49
Pit Crew

You forgot Ford producing a Mustang 4 door and a Bronco without a V8.
Rider79
Instructor

The non-V8 Bronco makes a lot of sense now; sadly, for selling to the population in general, the 4-door electric "Mustang" makes sense, too.
OldRoad
Instructor

Saw one for the first time up close today. Driving behind it. It slowed to a stop in the middle of the road, I stopped behind and waited for it to do something. It finally decided to pull over to the curb and park. Then I realized it must have been a test drive as there is a Ford dealer about a half mile from the road I was driving. Maybe the driver was waiting to see if it would park itself.
tcchuck2005
Pit Crew

Honda/Acura revives the Integra, Prelude and S2000!
Toyota brings us the MR2 for 2022!
Pontiac is revived and builds T-top Trans Am's.
Ford introduces for 2022, the Galaxy 500 convertible and new Falcon Sprint.
Rick2
Detailer

Three of my favorites!
1974Chevelle454
Pit Crew

How about that Chevrolet is bringing back the Chevelle, similar to the Dodge Challengers.
TonyT
Instructor

They already have. It's called a "Camaro."
1974Chevelle454
Pit Crew

They are supposed to be phasing out the Camaro in 2023, which I hope they rethink, as it's a mistake. Now I hear they are phasing out the Malibu. Is Chevrolet going the route of Ford - All trucks ??

1974Chevelle454
Pit Crew

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Iso_Grifo
Advanced Driver

I liked the Subaru one the best because it made me smile.
Huntwt
Pit Crew

A new Brat! Sign me up. Have it leave the factory fairly capable, but leave some room for easy lift-kits, winches and roll cages. It’d sell!!!
DUB6
Technician

Yeah, that one made me crack a grin, for sure.

drhino
Instructor

Re: “Dodge and Jeep adding Hellcat V-8 option across entire lineups”;
I thought they already did that.
SJ
Advanced Driver

A new Lightning with a V6, gotta be a V8, like they have learned from the Raptor.
SJ
Advanced Driver

How about a Pony Car built like the old days, at least with the absolute mininum electronics and do dads. Not talking carburetor, but close to that.
Rider79
Instructor

Of course now, the "minimum electronics" must include ABS, stability control, and rear-view cameras, probably among other legal requirements.
coshproductions
New Driver

My dream April Fool's headline I wish was true: "Porsche Develops Biofuel that Eliminates Carbon Dioxide Emissions from ICE Automobiles"
JBaguley
Intermediate Driver

Ford Motor Company to market 4-door electric SUV as a Mustang.
MoparMan
Advanced Driver

Stellantis renames itself "Ramco"! 🙂